Response to “Enough is Enough”

October 8, 2000

All I can say is “have some parents gone out of their mind?” I don’t won’t to put anyone on the defensive here and I am obviously no expert in the matter, but I am a mother and the content of this letter really concerned me. I was just flipping through the letters to see if my previous letter was listed and I came across the “enough is enough” letter. I couldn’t completely discern what had happened in the first place to cause the original letter to be written, but who would give advice to children to learn self defense because they’ll probably get a black eye again anyway. That sounds pretty immature to me. I know there are problems at all schools, especially where I live in Columbus, but telling children it’s acceptable to retaliate for any reason with violence is plain crazy. What could this girl or anyone have done that makes it right for another person, child or adult to beat someone up. I don’t know what’s going on in Toronto since I graduated, but it sounds like chaos. I think this mother did the right thing and I don’t need details of the story to tell me so. She took her child out of harm’s way, period. Yes, we can never fully protect our children from possible dangers but should we just give up by saying ” well it’s bad everywhere”. Maybe instead of all these back and forth letters and “I’m right” and “you’re wrong” responses, we should focus on why these children are getting themselves in these situations in the first place. I assure you they would not have come up with and continued these behaviors unless they were given the environment to do so. That is not to say that either or any parent is not a “good parent”, just maybe we all need to pay a little more attention to our children influences, whether they are from us, TV or their friends. Also, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to “screen” your child’s friends. If you don’t think a “good” kid can turn “bad” just because they start hanging around with the wrong crowd, you are avoiding reality. Children are so effected by their peers. I’m certain at least one of these girls who beat that girl up really didn’t think it was right, but did it anyway to be accepted buy her friends. Was it that long since you did something just because your childhood group of friends was doing it? If you say you never did that, your lying to yourself. My friends and I got in trouble for soaping cars, it’s no different today, accept the pranks are far more serious. I realize all children get into some type of trouble and all children will continue to do so probably until the end of time, but what will make or break these children’s ability to have a future is “our”, all parents, swift and mature responses to their actions. All I am trying to say is please for all our children’s sake, not just those in Toronto, let’s try to solve these problems, not just join in the fight.

Thank you,
Melissa DeMary (Horkulic, class of 87)
Concerned Mother of one child in Columbus
Aunt to two children growing up in Toronto.